Yesterday, Tiwa Savage took a rather bold step and spoke out about her marriage to her former manager, Tee Billz. It was very revealing when she said the marriage began failing months after her celebrated wedding.
Run a poll on social media, ask people what they feel about the marriage institution today and you will not be surprised by talks about how homes are being ruined by too many divorces cases, how women of today are very unlike the older generation who stood by their husbands, persevered and made their marriage work.
But, for how long, especially in a fast-paced world, before the woman cracks?
In our previous post, we culled reactions from social media, especially from men. “We need to do better as men,” Twitter user Echecrates said.
Now, we have collated interesting quotes from Savage’s interview with Pulse TV. These quotes merges the past and the present; giving an in-depth look into a typical Nigerian woman’s story we’ve always known, plus the daring attempt to break away from pain and live.
But, does she ever live?
From crumbling under societal pressure, to dealing with the male ego, having to explain and apologise for the man, blaming herself for the choices he made, and keeping up with public appearances, she struggles to make meaning of her life. And when she dares to walk away, the past still has some firm hold as she still feels indebted; a man is hardly ever put through such maze.
1. “My marriage and relationship has been very public and at one point I decided that I didn’t want to make it public anymore so I’m always nervous when it comes to his birthday because if I post, they read meaning to it. If I don’t then they’ll say we’ve broken up or there is a problem in our relationship.”
2. “I have covered up for a lot of hurt in our relationship. I knew that this marriage wasn’t going to work. It’s been like that for the past two months, I didn’t know if I should post and keep up appearances or if I should face reality.”
3. “I wanted people to believe this story that TJ is the head of the house, he’s the one that takes care of me, a loving husband, I wanted people to believe that and I wanted him to feel like a man, so I covered up so many times.”
4. “At times I even pray(ed) that he’s with another woman, so that way I know he’s still alive and has not gotten drunk in an accident or something else.”
5. “I’ll never deny that he worked hard for me or that he believed in me.”
6. “A lot of times my mum will say to me, ‘Tiwa you are the wife, be patient, don’t shout, don’t curse, a woman builds the home.’”
7. “I have never cheated on my husband. Not with Don Jazzy, not with Dr Sid, not with 2face or anybody, and I’m willing to take a lie detector test for that. And he knows it in his heart.”
8. “TJ loves to keep up with the life, he wants to live a life that’s not true without a steady income. As a woman, I want him to be the breadwinner too, and that’s why I put [money] in his account so [people will] think it’s coming from him and not me.”
9. “I won’t say I didn’t see signs, even a lot of people warned me about the type of person TJ is, but I made a mistake.”
10. “I was scared will I ever find somebody, will I ever find happiness, will I ever find someone else to marry me?”
11. “All I care about now is being happy for Jamil. I care about being strong; I care about not walking on eggshells.”
12. “It was a mentally abusive relationship because all I hear every day is how he made me, how he did this and that for me, I created you, I took you from nothing.”
13. “I’m done. It’s finally over.”
14. “I’ll never stop him from seeing Jamil, never!”
15. “But the only thing I’ll promise myself is to bring up my son to be a good man”
16. “Tonight I’m still going to pray for him. If I didn’t care about him or his well-being, I won’t have covered up for him for this long and even now I’m still helping him find a way out from his debt.”
17. “If there’s anything that I’ve overlooked to Tunji, I’m absolutely sorry. If have done anything wrong to neglect you or not make you feel like a man, Tunji I’m sorry and you know I tried everything, you know I love you so much and I’m sorry.”